


I'm Finding it Hard to Believe We're in Heaven

by MenagerieOfDarkness



Series: Dean's Adventures in Heaven [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Dean Winchester, Bottom Dean Winchester/Top Sam Winchester, Bottom Sam Winchester, Brother/Brother Incest, Car Sex, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dean Winchester Loves The Impala, First Time, First Time Bottoming, Fluff and Smut, Gay Sex, Gratuitous Smut, Heaven, Incest, M/M, Multi, Not Beta Read, Outdoor Sex, Paraphilias, Rough Sex, Sentient Impala (Supernatural), Sex in/on the Impala (Supernatural), Shameless Smut, Sibling Incest, Threesome - M/M/M, Top Sam Winchester, Wet Dean Winchester, Wincest Love Week (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:48:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28178628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MenagerieOfDarkness/pseuds/MenagerieOfDarkness
Summary: After spending 40 years in heaven, Dean is finally reunited with a long-lost family member. How will he react when he comes face to face with the person he longed for the most?
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Impala/Dean Winchester, Impala/Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Impala/Sam Winchester
Series: Dean's Adventures in Heaven [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2064291
Kudos: 8





	I'm Finding it Hard to Believe We're in Heaven

After spending 40 years with just his beautiful Impala as company, 40 lonely years of having his Baby pump his not-bisexual asshole with gallons of car cum, Dean started to come to terms that he was possibly carsexual. It was the only logical explanation as to why he craved the feeling of the Impala’s tailpipe so deeply wedged in his walls that he could taste metal at the back of his throat. But, he felt satisfied, both at the pleasure Baby gave him and the fact that he managed to keep the relationship a secret from his parents and Bobby, the only people he managed to bring to his personal heaven since Sam was, unfortunately, alive and Cas was still trapped in super-hell.

Dean was driving his Baby home after a long night of being driven by it, feeling his piss weasel drag against the dirt road for hours, when he saw it, a large moose-like being standing in front of his house. For a moment, the figure was horribly aged, wearing a grey Dollar Store wig and a pair of glasses, but soon his hair turned into a soft, chestnut brown. Dean thought his eyes were deceiving him until he saw how unbelievably swole the man was, how much potent dominant energy he gave off. But, even then, he couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe that after 40 years, he was going to be reunited with...

“Sammy!” Dean yelled out of the open Impala window over the roaring sounds of ‘Carry On My Wayward Son’ that his Baby always put on during their furious lovemaking. Sam turned around, face just as beautifully middle-aged as it was when Dean last saw him before the Juggalo vampires took him out.

“Dean?” Sam whipped his head around, causing his mop of hair to swivel through the air like a bundle of majestic pigeons. 

“I’m here, Sammy!” Dean flung himself from the moving Impala, the sentient vehicle bringing itself to a stop several feet away. Although he could feel the dulled sensation of pebbles digging into his scuffed, cum-covered jeans, that didn’t stop Dean from rushing over to his baby brother and engulfing him in a warm, long, hard hug that only two very straight brothers could engage in. Dean nuzzled his face in the crook of Sam’s neck, relishing in just how tall and broad his baby brother was. Sam responded in turn, tracing his hands all over the swerves and curves of Dean’s body, finally reaching the large gumdrops lurking within his jeans. But, his gentle prodding of Dean’s supple flesh stopped when his hands reached a wet spot on the seat of his big brother’s pants, leftover car grease dripping from his hole.

“Dean?” Sam eyed the Impala, shock and confusion slowly twisting his facial features. Then, as if the pieces finally came together, he looked back at Dean.

“Have you been fucking the Impala, Dean?” For a second, Dean wasn’t sure how to respond. How do you confess to your little brother, who you haven’t seen in 40 years, that you love getting pounded by your car? But, as Dean squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to see the look of judgment on Sam’s face, he felt his little brother resume groping his ass, fingers playing with his cheeks with renewed vigor like a moviegoer who had just begun to dig into his pissyshitty, ready to get all sloppy and wet.

“What would you do if I have?” Dean whispered into Sam’s ear, making sure to get his ear lobe all nice and moist from his hot breath.

“If you tell me you enjoyed it, I might have to do something about that.” Sam pulled his closer, their tight cocks rubbing against each other between the numerous layers of fabric between them.

“The Impala’s car shlong was so big, it almost ripped my asshole in half.” That was all it took for Sam to start moving in on Dean, plush, freshly-moisturized lips coming right at him. But Dean evaded him, turning his head at the last second, so Sam’s lips pressed against his cheeks instead like two clams shells gently washing ashore a mighty beach.

“Not on the lips, Sammy. That’s gay.” Sam nodded and instead pushed Dean onto the ground with all of the force of a pile driver drilling deep within the earth. God, it was so hot, and Dean felt his shaft swell to the size of a baby hog as his knees hit the floor. He slowly opened his mouth, ready for his mouth to be filled with his brother’s hairy balls. After decades of only doing anal, Dean couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to feel the Impala’s tailpipe in his mouth stabbing his uvula with every thrust. But, the car made it clear that it only lusted for Dean’s creamy thighs and luscious cheeks, his lips not supple enough to compare. Maybe with Sam, he could indulge himself.

But, as Dean started to nuzzle Sam’s crotch, his inner sub beginning to rise out of him like a groundhog ready to see if there were six more weeks of sexual deprivation, Sam pushed him aside. His eyes looked conflicted, like he wanted Dean to gargle his cock, yet something was stopping him.

“No, Dean. Do you want to go to super-hell? Super-duper-snooper-hell? There’s a way to do this. I’ve spent the last 40 years of my life trying to figure it out.” Sam forced Dean around, his older brother planting his flannel-clad arms on the ground to keep him from faceplanting onto the hard dirt. Dean felt Sam rip his jeans off with his large, meaty hands before pulling off his own pants. Over his shoulder, Dean saw just how long and cucumber-like Sam’s cock was, so large that it didn’t swing when he unearthed it like a mighty pine. No, it swayed like it had its own gravitational pull, shifting the earth with it. Dean nearly came right then and there, but he stopped himself. It had been so long since he had seen a human dick other than his own, and he had long since stopped being aroused by the sight of his own hobgoblin.

“How do we do it, Sammy?” Sam lined up his sledgehammer with the rotund concrete walls of Dean’s ass. He wrapped his arms around Dean, drawing his brother close.

“It’s a magic spell. One that supersedes any celestial laws.” Dean nodded eagerly, ready to hear it.

“No chromo.” With that, Sam thrust with the force of a thousand suns, cock exploding into Dean’s gaping, lubed-up hole so hard and fast you’d think Sonic was fucking Dean. But no, it was just Sam Winchester, monster hunter extraordinaire. And he was ready to hunt down every inch of Dean’s intestines and exorcise them with his mighty Colt gun. 

Dean winced as his innards were plunged like an oversized toilet at a 7-Eleven, Sam much faster and stealthier than the Impala. Still, the sheer pleasure of having his baby brother be the sexy plumber unclogging all of his piping made up for it. Now knowing that the magic spell sealed away the incest, Dean relaxed against Sam’s penis, feeling his body melt as his ass started heating up like a hot water bottle.

“Is that all you got, bitch?”

“Jerk.” Sam slammed his hips, so hard Dean thought his pelvis was about to shatter. His face was firmly pressed against the ground, the sheer force of Sam’s sex abilities too much for his arms to handle. Not that he minded having his mouth slowly fill his dirt. No, if anything, it made him hornier. As much as he loved how the Impala would ride him, its cold pipe was nothing compared to a living, breathing cock.

Just as that thought crossed Dean’s mind, he heard his Baby drive up, slowly, as if not to startle them. The car was beginning to press its front bumper against Sam’s bare, muscular ass like a horny dog.

“Hey there, fellas.” The Impala’s low voice rang from the radio. It was a bit crackly, which most people would interpret as a bad signal in heaven, but Dean knew better. He instantly recognized the distortions of lust in the Impala’s voice. ‘Carry On My Wayward Son’ was humming on the radio, slow and seductive.

“Mind if I join in?” Sam stopped his thrusting, surprised and slightly aroused by the cold metal stroking his flat, nonexistent cheeks. He leaned over Dean once more, only now to whisper in his ear.

“Is this allowed? Like, it is gay to be fucked by a car?”

“No, you’re good, Sammy.” Sam sighed in relief before nodding at the Impala. The sexy car reared itself above the younger Winchester, snaking its extra-wide tailpipe into Sam’s cardboard sheet-like ass. Sam groaned as his organs were rearranged by the Impala’s oily cock. While he had never thirsted for the peen on earth, now single and ready to mingle with his older brother and a car, Sam realized that, deep down, he always had those urges. His virgin asshole had always yearned to be filled with so much shaft, so many beige cucumbers, that it would threaten to burst open.

The three of them stayed in that position, a human centipede of sexual pleasure that, if just for a brief moment, existed only to consume cock through their asses. The dirt road began to slowly sink, caving in under the weight of the sins above it. Even though the magic no-incest spell prevented the two humans from being sent to super-hell, the road knew. It always knew.

But, the three above — both organic and mechanical — did not know of the magnitude of what they were doing nor of the road’s protests because they didn’t understand Italian. No, they could only focus on the pleasure brewing between their bodies and decided that heaven truly was worth it if they could have moments like this. 

“Oh, Impala!” Sam cried out as his prostate was expertly targeted like a g-spot seeking missile. Dean had long gotten used to the Impala, turning all of his erogenous zones into a shish kebab, but, for a car virgin like Sammy, it was an experience like no other.

Dean wasn’t surprised when Sam’s entire dick — every last inch of it — unloaded itself into Dean’s curvaceous walls like an 18-wheeler delivering a shipment of Walmart toilet paper. And Dean was the loading dock ready to get swamped with all of that white goodness. While it wasn’t as much as the Impala filled him with, Dean still felt like a Thanksgiving turkey stuffed and ready to be served with a side of mashed potatoes. 

A few moments after, Dean and the Impala came at the same time. After decades together, the two lovers had become so connected that even their sperm had become gold medal synchronized swimmers. Dean was surprised that Sam was only a bit early, but he would learn. He had an eternity in heaven to forge the connection that Dean and his car had with each other.

“Wow. That was...” Sam was at a loss for words. He hadn’t expected his first day in heaven to be a threesome with his brother and a car, but he was glad it happened. After years of marriage with his nameless wife, Sam never thought he would have anything other than Eric Kripke-approved missionary sex ever again. The thought of finally being free of that hell on earth nearly brought a tear to his eye, and, being the less manly of the two brothers, two man tears spilled down his cheeks.

“I know right, Sammy. And, it can be like this forever.” The Impala nodded, thrusting its front bumper up and down.

“Really?” Sam sniffed and wiped at his nose with his flannel shirt.

“I guess heaven really is a place on earth.” Sam broke down after speaking, moose-like tears coating his cheeks like a sticky waterfall. Dean and the Impala both embraced him, their bodies becoming one not in sex, but in love.

***

Down in the depths of super-hell, a figure shifts through the black tar. It was awoken by the sweet melody of hard-core, ball-slapping sex, a sound that seemed so familiar to him. He knew what he had to do next, dick trembling in his khakis. He had to get out and find Dean.


End file.
